Image showing fake scents of cologne. Caption: These scents are now irrelevant.

(Image: of a cologne bottle shattering dramatically as it hits the ground in slow motion) Introducing the newest fragrance in sensuality:

(Image: Slideshow of photos of models in fur underwear)

fur underwear. [CTA: “Is this fur real?”] Fur. Flippin. Undies..

For the woman who’s already an animal in the bedroom, so she might as well dress like one. This matching fur bralette and panties set will help unleash her wild side (but not on us because it’s faux fur). Perfect for the couple who enjoys Stone Age roleplay.

These loincloths aren’t just oversized merkins. The soft, velvety fur undies will tickle her in all the right places and the matching fur bralette will caress her skin with a silky coat that can only be compared to stuffing a pair of chinchillas down your shirt. [CTA: “I’ve never pelt this way before”]

So experience the untamed sexual confidence that can only come from fur underwear. Image, fur scent of cologne [CTA: “Shop Ladies Fur Underwear”]

It’s Screwpid o’clock, jabronies! Just testing out my new catchphrase. Do you like it? More importantly, do you think I care if you like it? You know the drill by now. We’re celebrating that love is weird. I ask questions, you answer them. What’s in it for you? I give away prizes. What’s in it for me? After delivering your prize, I stick around and watch you change out of your workout clothes. Win-win. Last time I asked if you’ve been in love long enough that you have a weird pet name for your partner. And your responses did not disappoint. I’m gonna be honest: I was not expecting MULTIPLE stories of pet names inspired by “Monsters, Inc.” But my favorite entry came from Chrissy, who shared this story of how her partner received his pet name: When we went on our first date we jokingly made up a safe word because his name is too similar to my child’s name to call out during sex. He claimed his skills were magical so we went with “Ta-da.”

As a bedroom magician myself, this story really spoke to me. Let’s just say I’m great at making 9 inches disappear and I’ve also been known to saw a woman in half. Chrissy, based on the magic between you and your partner, I’ve assembled this prize package: - A top hat [LINK] - A rabbit to pull out of it [LINK] - Ear plugs for everyone else in the house [LINK] Ready for the next weird love question? Listen up, y’all: What’s something you share with your partner that you really shouldn’t? [CTA: “Gimme the deets”]

Stay Weird & Run fur it!

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This extremely tasteful, hand-crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten-free email was designed by Spike and written by Nate. I’ve gotten to the unfortunate point in a man’s life where I now shed more than my dog does.

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