Banner: Pre-order Now It’s finally winter. The season everyone else hates, but you know better. Because when the snow hits the ground, you hit the slopes.

(Image: Beauty shot of someone skiing in Shinesty gear)

And our new collection of retro ski suits is sure to make everyone else on the mountain jealous as you fly past them in a neon blur. [CTA: “I’m skiing in these or nothing at all!”]

Plus, the bright colors will make it easy for the ski patrol to spot you after you blow out your knees because you assumed you could handle that double black diamond. (Image: Catalog photo of injured skier) [CTA: “Ligaments are overrated anyway”]

Pre-order yours now, because these babies are gonna sell out before we’re even selling them! (Image: GIF of new ski suit prints, a few at a time) [CTA: “Shop the new Ski Suit collection”]

Then after you’re discharged from the hospital with newly reconstructed joints, grab some hot cocoa in the lodge and tell everyone a lie about how you hurt yourself. (Image: Friends sitting around a ski lodge. One has a speech bubble saying that they had to avoid the second bar)

Supplies are limited, so pre-order yours today! (Image: GIF of new ski suit prints, a few at a time) [CTA: “Shop the new Ski Suit collection”]

Stay Weird & Keep a Straight Faceplant

We're at 1990 57th Ct. N, Boulder, CO 80301
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This extremely tasteful, hand-crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten-free email was designed by Dain and written by Nate. How many words can you think of besides “skiing” that have the letter “i” twice in a row? And “Hawaii” doesn’t count. Or “Hawaiian,” smartass.

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