Our newest Valentine’s Day print is designed for the more adventurous lovebirds out there. This February 14th, after your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner, cap off the night with a little dessert. (Image: Darcy underwear) [CTA: “I’m Reddi To Buy”]

If you're looking to reenact your favorite scene from Varsity Blues (or Not Another Teen Movie), then we've got the print for you Image; mens and womens darcy cuts Surprising your partner by covering yourself in whipped cream is a classic, but if you wanna try something new we’ve determined the sexiest foods to ignite passion in the bedroom as well as the least sexy foods that you’ll probably want to avoid.

(Design: Photos of naked people with food covering their privates. Each photo either has a “Sexy” or “Not Sexy” stamp on it) SEXY: Sushi NOT SEXY: Chicken Noodle Soup (not in a bowl, just loose soup)

SEXY: Frosting NOT SEXY: Frozen Hungry Man Dinner

SEXY: Strawberries NOT SEXY: Lobster (should be alive and pinching their nips) [CTA: “I’m gonna stick with whipped cream”]

Ok Marketing Team, time to wrap it up. They’re just funny underpants. You don’t have to turn every email into a dissertation. Screwpid here. Sorry again about the dude writing these marketing emails. Trust me, you lost your virginity at least 8 years before he did. (Editor’s Note: 5 years TOPS.) Last time I asked what’s the weirdest pick up line you’ve ever used or heard that’s actually worked. I got a ton of responses and the general takeaway is you people aren’t very picky about who you go home with after last call. Hey, makes my job easier. But my favorite pick up artist has to be Alexandra J. who shared this gem: Step 1: Walk up to a guy at the bar & say “Hey! What are you doing tonight?” Step 2: Politely listen to whatever his evening’s plans are. Step 3: Reply “Aww bummer, I was hoping you’d say me.” Step 4: Turn around and walk slowly away because he’ll run after you to get that number.

The best part is, she always knows exactly what important plans the dude is blowing off to leave with her. Huge self-esteem booster. Alexandra, I’m sending you a prize package celebrating your uncanny ability to catch a D whenever you like: $100 Shinesty Gift Card So you’re always dressed for the occasion Clone-A-Willy LINK Proudly make & display trophies of the men you’ve seduced As for the rest of you, remember: Even if some weirdo gives you the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard, everyone looks like a movie star when you have your eyes closed. Ok, here’s the next question I want you freaks to answer: Do you have a weird pet name for your partner? What’s the story behind it? [CTA: “Holler atcha boy”]

Stay Weird & Remember when Captain America was only PRETTY Buff

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This extremely tasteful, hand-crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten-free email was designed by Dain and written by Nate. Cool Whip straight from the tub or Reddi Wip straight into your mouth? I know you have strong feelings.

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