THERE ARE ONLY A FEW HOURS LEFT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR BABY GOT CASH BACK CYBER MONDAY DEAL!! EVERY PURCHASE GETS UP TO 50% MONEY BACK. Image: Baby got cash back[CTA: “Shop til the break of dawn”]

(Image: Money Back Promo Image) UP TO 25% CASH BACK? HELL NO. UH! DOUBLE UP! GET UP TO 50% MONEY BACK. UH! UH! SORRY FOR ALL CAPS BUT MY SHIFT KEY GOT STUCK AND OUR I-T PERSON CAN’T COME LOOK AT MY COMPUTER RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT’S ALL HANDS ON DECK IN THE DISTRIBUTION CENTER TRYING TO GET ALL THESE ORDERS PROCESSED.

[CTA: “Shop Now & Start Earning Money Back”] ANYHOO, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET UP TO 50% MONEY BACK. NO MORE EMAIL REMINDERS BECAUSE I’M ALSO HEADING TO THE DISTRIBUTION CENTER TO HELP OUT.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE HOURS AGO BUT I HAD TO WRITE THIS EMAIL AND MY BOSS WAS LIKE “YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN ALL THE CYBER MONDAY EMAILS YET?? IT’S OUR BUSIEST DAY OF THE YEAR! SEE ME IN MY OFFICE AT THE END OF THE DAY.” OOO, MAYBE I’M GETTING A BIG raise. Hey, my Shift key finally unstuck itself! Yep, things are starting to look up for me. [CTA: “Shop Now and Get Your Anaconda Some Cash Back”]

The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this?

Stay Weird & Finish Strong

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This extremely tasteful, hand-crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten-free email was designed by Spike and written by Nate. Don't ignore this sale like I did going to the dentist for 2 years, not worth it.

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