Take our money!
 ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌
Shinesty
Oh my god, Becky. Look at Shinesty’s deal. It’s so...big. (Image:Becky and friend looking at size of shinestys cash back across across the butt cheeks) This Black Friday through Cyber Monday, WE’RE paying YOU to shop. Every single order gets money back. The more you spend the more you save. Up to 50% money back!
{CTA: Get Money Back Now}
(Image: Money Back Promo Image showing tiers of savings)
This offer is too good to last long! In fact, someone in marketing is definitely losing their job over this promo. Automatically Get Money Back With These:
(Image: Men wearing various holiday underwear prints) [Text: “Get ball support & get money back”]
(Image: Women wearing various holiday underwear prints) [Text: “Get cheeky & get money back”]
(Image: Couples in various holiday formalwear designs) [Text: “Get dolled up & get money back”]
(Image: Models in various holiday leisurewear designs) [Text: “Get comfy & get money back”]
(Image: Models in their underwear holding presents) [Text: “Get gifting & get money back”]
But wait, there’s more! We’re doing daily giveaways all weekend long of prize packages worth over $1,100.
(Image: Gift wrapped presents & stacks of cash) These aren’t just any old prizes. We asked our employees for their Xmas lists, then decided to give their presents to you instead. Four lucky customers will win these prize packages as well as spite from our employees who actually asked for them.
The Art Package (Image: Collage of gifts in the art package. “From: The Art Bois & Gurls”) image shows of tiers of product you can win
I'm being serious and don't call me Shirley.
The Art Package (Image: Collage of gifts in the art package. “From: The Art Bois & Gurls”) [CTA: “Shop Now to Win The Art Package”]
The Degenerates (Image: Collage of gifts in the degenerates package. “From: The IT team”) [CTA: “Shop Now to Win The Degenerates Package”]
The Accounts Payable (Image: Collage of cash with a smaller pile of cash next to it to represent the money taken out. “From: The Accounting Department”) [CTA: “Shop Now to Win The Accounts Payable Package”]
The Staycation (Image: Collage of gifts in the staycation package. “From: The Employees with the most time off”) [CTA: “Shop Now to Win The Staycation Package”]
Come back every day from Black Friday through Cyber Monday for your daily chance to win. And remember, every order earns you money back. The more you spend, the more you save. [CTA: “For A Limited Time Only, Baby Got Cash Back”]

Stay Weird & Put the Back in Black Friday
Stay Weird & Shine On
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We're at 1990 57th Ct. N, Boulder, CO 80301
If you're looking for PG ish content or you're someone's mom, follow us on Facebook.
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If neither of those options appeals to you, follow us on Twitter, we haven't touched that in ages (I don't even know the password.)

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This extremely tasteful, hand-crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten-free email was designed by Spike and written by Nate. Time to eat leftover turkey sandwiches for the next 10 days.

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